In Tim O’Brien’s memoir If I Die in a Combat Zone Box Me Up and Ship Me Home he recounts his experiences as a soldier in the Vietnam War. Within this book O’Brien writes of many of the hardships and challenges of being a soldier. One apparent aspect seen throughout the memoir is the extreme about of fear that O’Brien and his fellow soldiers experienced. As the book progresses O’Brien and his comrades appear to have no issues with combat and find that they can in fact sleep through attacks. This numbing of human emotions appears to be extremely prevalent in this story, seen within both the casual attitudes of those in administrative positions sending soldiers to war, and also the soldiers’ ability to be insensitive to the violence around them. Ultimately the memoir expresses the idea during the time of the Vietnam the men enlisted or drafted to be soldiers must become numb and insensitive to fear in order to protect all the United States from communism, and to still be included in US society.
Tim O’Brien is afraid, and rightly so, of joining the army and going to Vietnam to fight in the war. Throughout the first part of the book, as O’Brien is drafted and sent to basic and advanced infantry training, he experiences several instances of terror. His fear eventually drives him to consider abandoning his obligation to the army and his country and instead fleeing to Sweden. “…for the first time, [I] persuaded myself that is was truly possible. No one would stop me at the Canadian border, not in a bus. A flight to Ireland would raise no suspicions. From Ireland it was only a day or two by boat to Sweden. There was no doubt it could be done” (O’Brien, 54). O’Brien realizes how easy it would be escape the terror of war and at first jumps to the opportunity. He boards a greyhound bus to Seattle to start the first leg of his escape and finds once he gets there how lonely his choice is. “I simply couldn’t bring myself to flee. Family, the home town, friends, history, tradition, fear, confusion, exile: I could not run” (O’Brien, 68). His need for inclusion stops him from running away and eventually makes him accept and embrace his fear of combat in order to stay connected to his country and loved ones. As he progresses to arriving in Vietnam and fighting, he is slowly dehumanized and eventually numb to the fear he experiences before engaging in combat.
When O’Brien first comes to Vietnam he immediately notices how the soldiers already there have grown immune to fear. When describing the first attack the author experiences while in Vietnam, he makes it very clear that the soldiers who had been there for some time found the attack to be almost boring and usual, while he, an inexperienced soldier, was terrified. “Enemy rounds crashed in. The earth split. Most of the Alpha Company Slept…I hugged the Bud and Black Label, panting, no thoughts” (O’Brien, 75). Although the Alpha Company practically sleeps through this attack, O’Brien, an inexperienced and unknowing recruit, finds this first attack to be petrifying. Although he is scared he knows that he must stay and fight for his country in order to consider himself part of the American Nation. This can be seen earlier in the same chapter when the sergeant offers the new recruits desk jobs instead of foot soldier positions. “ ‘I got jobs for mechanics, typists, clerks…You lose a little time to Uncle Sam…You save your ass. Anybody game?’ No one budged, and he shrugged his shoulders and went down to the mess hall” (O’Brien, 72). It appears here that although these men are offered much more comfortable positions, positions that may save their lives, they turn the opportunity down because of their sense of obligation to their country. It appears that this need of inclusion makes these men put aside their fear of combat and put their lives on the line.
As the memoir progresses there are instances in which the soldiers appear to be dehumanized by their lack of fear. This can be seen specifically in an instance involving Mad Mark. “Mad Mark sat crossed-legged and unwrapped a bundle of cloth and dangled a hunk of brown, fresh human ear under the yellow beam of light. Someone giggled…then they passed the ear around for everyone to fondle” (O’Brien, 83). In this passage we see complete brutality on the behalf of Mad Mark. He cuts an ear off a dead Vietnamese soldier and brings it back to the camp to show his comrades. His comrades appear to find his gesture amusing, as they laugh at it and even pass the ear around to all get a closer look. This scene is barbaric, but it shows how these men deal with the fear and stress of daily warfare by becoming so vile. This scene also shows the sense of inclusion when one is willing to become so insensitive, as all the men are packed together looking at a piece of human flesh.
In this memoir the reader also sees the casual attitude that those sending soldiers off had to violence and fear. This can be seen specifically in O’Brien’s conversation with the army Chaplin before he is sent to Vietnam.
